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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I Am A Work In Progress


One thing I have always sort of struggled with is reaching perfection.
I'm actually laughing as I type that out, because it sounds as if I am saying that everyone
else is perfect, and I just cant...quite...seem...to...achieve....it.
(That was me, climbing up a mountain, or swimming my last lap...or insert whatever
accomplishment you deem worthy of success or perfection.)
I never really realized I do this until one day a few years back, someone said to me,
"You are way too hard on yourself. I've always thought that about you."
Those words still ring in my ears. At the time I was thinking, "No I am not. I really am 
actually very screwed up and I deserve what happens to me."
Fast forward years later and I see myself as someone else, I don't see myself as the tattered
girl I once was, full of anxiety and depression and mistakes.
But I do make mistakes. Obviously. And I do have set backs. Bumps in the road.
Sometimes I even put those bumps there myself. I dig my own ditch. Ya know?
And sometimes I let those mistakes, for just a moment, bring me back to that broken mess
I saw myself as. That broken mess I was. It's like that girl who is on a diet, and she makes one mistake.
She eats one cookie and suddenly all is lost. Might as well give up because she already
screwed it up, right? Time for a food binge!
Something that God has really been teaching me lately is that every strive for perfection,
every goal, every healing is a process. It took you years to get into that mess. 
You will not come out of it overnight.
I've been setting my focus in on and praying this verse over my life...
This process, this perfection that we so desperately try to achieve, whether it be in our own
eyes, or in the eyes of another, will never happen.
Perfection isn't possible the way we think it should be. 
Yet, in God's eyes, he made us perfect, who he wanted us to be.
Sure, we may have screwed it up a little, or a lot, along the way.
 But to get us back to that place, the beginning, that place  in the Garden of Eden, 
where everything was beautiful. Where God created it, saw it, and it to him was good.
Every plant, every animal, both man and woman were created absolutely perfect,
...to get back to that place, it will take some time.
In fact, this verse says that it will take right up until the end. It's a life long journey.
God can't do it overnight. Actually, I am sure he could, 
but then how would we ever learn to not go down that road again?
Every bump along the way, every set back, every time I for some strange reason seek out what my torn up life was, setting myself up for failure and disappointment... 
it isn't a time to give up because I messed up things up bad this time...
It is a time to learn. To try harder this time.
And to let God do what he said He would do.

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; Your love O Lord, endures forever.
Do not abandon the work of Your hands.-Psalm 138:8

He won't abandon you. Be patient. Stop looking back.
But if you do, remember practice makes perfect! Keep going.



Linking up with INTO THE WORD WEDNESDAY to share what God 
has been teaching me this week.


Six Ladies. Six Spaces! One Winner!

9 comments:

Mrs Hurley said...

Oh girl!! I feel ya! I feel that every time I strive for perfection I'm slowly building a wall of separation from God!! You are such a blessing!!

Falen @ Upward Not Inward said...

So glad you linked up!!

I've been there. It was a typical cycle me. I'd screw up, be hard on myself and isoalte myself feom agod out of embarassment, then wallow in the guilt over the isolation, which would result in more isolation from God. (Like I was ever hiding, right?!) No giving up though. His love never fails. He jealously waits. Lavishing love and grace. That's what its all about.

Falen

Falen @ Upward Not Inward said...

So glad you linked up!!

I've been there. It was a typical cycle me. I'd screw up, be hard on myself and isoalte myself feom agod out of embarassment, then wallow in the guilt over the isolation, which would result in more isolation from God. (Like I was ever hiding, right?!) No giving up though. His love never fails. He jealously waits. Lavishing love and grace. That's what its all about.

Falen

Cassie @ Live.Laugh.L0ve. said...

I absolutely love this post. There are times I try soooo hard to be perfect but I always seem to fall short. Thank you for the reminder that God made us perfect. I needed to read this. xoxo

Elizabeth Trull said...

I love this post! Thank you for writing it, I've been going through some tough times and this is exactly what I needed to read right now!
Liz

Kristine -Heart Shaped Sweat said...

I learned a long time ago that perfection is the enemy. We can drive ourselves crazy believing it to be possible and miss out on the little rewards/blessings we're already achieving. Once this clicked for me, oh how sweet life got. Really enjoyed your writing and how you share your heart. Thanks for sharing this piece!

TicoTina said...

wonderfully encouraging! I'm sure the enemy doesn't want you to realize it or feel it, but you speak with authority. it's so true that things are a process.

Becky Moseley said...

So glad to meet another Ragamuffin/work in progress. I'm also so glad that God's strength is made perfect in our weaknesses!

Amanda said...

Someone told me one time that striving for perfection was a pride issue. Since obviously no-one and nothing is perfect except for God. It's prideful to think that we can attain that without Him.

Anyway - it really struck a chord with me.

Love you lady!

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