There is a part of me that loves the storm. The fearful boom of thunder and strike of lightening, the howling wind and the crashing waves have the potential to drown you, leaving you breathless or it has the potential of forcing you to learn how to swim. And swim well. You know that saying, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? It's truth has sort of been screaming silently to me through my adult years. Life has a way of embedding strength into you once you are all grown up, if you let it. You can stand taller, run faster and know that the storm came, you made it through and you are stronger...and now onto the next step.
It's been raining and storming here a lot lately. And while I love the sort of cozy intimacy a summer storm can bring, mostly lately it's been sucking, because a storm for us now is cold and dreary and moody, and it means our roof is leaking into our house. We've got buckets strategically placed throughout...and in that way, storms suck. These storms really suck. In a passing complaint to my husband about it, his reply was "I bet the farmers are happy" because a storm also can mean growth and new life.
When the storm seems to sort of suck the life out of us in one moment, knowing you are still standing afterwards brings forth a new confidence in yourself and an opportunity. And that is the part of the storm I thrive on. The experience, the growth and the ability to adjust my sails and head in a new direction. In a sea of tears last night I allowed myself to embrace reality and come to terms with some of the damage these storms have cost me throughout my life, some I buried deep and far away in my past. Some I didn't even realize existed. It all seemed so small at the time in comparison to what other people face and in effort to bury bitterness and keep smiling, I forced myself to be okay. Yet somehow these small things affected my whirlwind of a life and emotion in recent years, with me not even knowing it.
And suddenly I do. I am thankful I am still standing. And realizing that I am, is bringing me to an adjustment of my sail. Pointing me in a whole new direction.
To Be Continued...