It's been about six weeks or so since I said "goodbye." I went on my blog "break" hoping for a revelation of clarity and peace. Really, it's a slow process in my still very busy life, despite the fact that I haven't exactly been 'internet' friendly. I've learned there are two kinds of busy. There is the type of busy that keeps you physically exhausted. You have a to do list a mile long and you over plan and over commit yourself. Or you are like me, in which your mind is busy all the time. You can't stop thinking and processing and like I mentioned in my last post, once the silence hits, you have to find something to fill it...so you find something to do, to read, to tweet, to blog, to stalk, to watch on television, etc.
My goal was to try to silence my mind, thus the shutting down of my personal facebook a few months back, my blog temporarily, and I really haven't stepped foot into our office space, other than a few errands I had to do for my church and would make a quick pop into twitter or my "blog" facebook page to let you all know what I was up to. But school is out for the summer, so that quiet time I was hoping to embrace has been a little slower than I had hoped for, because well, I'm still busy. It's a process... And each day is a new day, in which some days I wake up and I sit up in my bed, I grab my Bible, I grab a pen, my journal and a devotional and I just read and listen and write. That's all. I just sit and talk to God. I don't grab my phone and scroll through my email and my instagram. I sit. But other days, I wake up to a kid asking me for a cup or breakfast or to figure out the computer printer and there is no quiet time, my day has begun and before I know it, it's over...and I never got a chance to just sit. Those days disappoint me.
But I can see a light at the end of a noisy tunnel. At least I'm learning.
And in the middle of all the seemingly unavoidable busyness and chaos that makes up my life, I have still tried to embrace a bit of creativity that still stirs in me. I've taken up drawing, started playing with an art journal, turning our basement into a play room with some fun paint, handdrawn typography, outdoor fun chalk art with the kids... None of it by any means is "good" in my eyes, I'd barely say mediocre, yet I want to challenge myself to pursue something creative each day even if it's horrible, because I can only get better.
At least I hope so...
And a first for me, it looks as if I might be speaking at a women's breakfast at our church. Believe it or not, in a family of preachers and musicians, I'm the quiet one. Or so it seems. I like to help, but staying "behind the scenes" is where I prefer. So this is scary for me. I've done a bit of acting in the past, but I always make sure I have a microphone with a headset, because my hands shake and I look like an idiot. So yeah, if this happens, it's a big step for me, but I'm excited, because God has taught me so much, and I'm excited to share it beyond the internet.
Anyways, as of right now, my plan is to come back to my blog in a more relaxed manner at some point. Possibly in the fall? And I've been putting this off, in order to decide if it matters or not. But I decided I would go ahead and throw it out there. I have no idea what is happening with the whole "google reader/google friend connect" thing. But I would so appreciate it, if you are a true reader of my blog and you have drawn any inspiration from anything I've said, I'd love if you would go ahead and hop on my bloglovin train and follow me there...just in case. Or even via email.
I realize many of you follow along via facebook or twitter, but if not I'd love to, well... not lose you.
And I know many of you currently follow along on instagram, so you are fairly updated with my life on a "daily" basis (not that it's that exciting), but if you don't and would like to, you can find me at awkwardtoart.
I still share my thoughts and inspiration as it comes to me there, just in shorter forms!
I have fun keeping up with a ton of you on instagram and my occasional twitter visits...
and I so look foward to hopping back into the "bloggers life" sometime in the near future.
I do really miss it and miss you all...